||[Dec. 2nd, 2008|03:22 pm]
MY SEEKRET KLUB!!!!!!!
Ever binged on Snapple? Seriously. Have you ever died of Snapple-induced drunken laughter? Or possibly fainted in the presence of the godliness that is Raspberry Snapple?|
Or have you pondered what exactly "Made from the greatest stuff on Earth" means? Is it possible that after drinking a Snapple, you will indeed achieve some superhuman level of conscience? Unfortunately enough, I have drunk many a Snapple in my day, and I do not appear to have reached said superhuman mind yet. But perhaps it is impossible within the arc of only a hundred Snapple.
Perhaps this elusive feat is akin to making a Thousand Cranes, where is it not the end but the means that truly condense the frivolities of life into a small manageable parcel and allow one to extend one's vision beyond what is obvious or immediately perceptible.
Now as to the individual flavorings of Snapple. Let's take, for instance, Peach Snapple, the proported favorite of a certain ULTEE. If it is indeed Peach Snapple and it indeed is made from natural ingredients, there must be Peach in Peach Snapple, right? And from the aforementioned statement ("Made from the greatest stuff on Earth", for those of you who can't scroll up), peaches must therefore be a member of this elite group known as "The Greatest Stuff on Earth." But now let's take my favorite, Raspberry. By the same logic, raspberries are also part of "The Greatest Stuff on Earth." But then there is a problem - which is the greatest? I know it says the Greatest Stuff, implying a collection, but surely there must be a greatest among the greatest stuff, or else who would be able to lead them? I sense an inner conflict among the Snapple...